When you first glimpse someone (or something) new your brain reacts instantly, but you knew that. What’s destructive is that when you instinctively feel danger – or simply irritation – you respond quicker, longer and more intensely than if you feel safe or another positive emotion.
Your negative reaction to “the new” affects you much more than a [...]
He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back.
Naturally [...]
When women and men were beat up in a Mangalore pub for “violating traditional Indian values” some decried it as “Talibanisation of India.” Thousands have seen the video. Yet even the National Commission for Women there, also condemned “the loosening of moral standards amongst young women.”
To galvanize action against the right wing Hindu group that backs such incidents, journalist Nisha Susan involved bloggers to ask [...]
Rather than a fake-friendly question to highlight his ignorance, a sarcastic retort, shouting or silently seething – try alleviating the friction that’s at the core of the conflict. I’m not saying it’s easy. Yet unsettled resentments usually cause two-way sabotage, in the moment and in the future, so it is worth trying something different to save [...]
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