Comments on: The Velcro Effect of Praise and Insults

By: Kare Anderson

Kare Anderson — Wed, 19 May 2010 16:17:21 +0000

Michael – Thank you
1. Re overworking – see Tony’s helpful new book The Energy Project (Work hard. Pause. Repeat)
2. Even with mindfulness we are different people and thus, even in times of good will, we will see the situation from a different perspective. That’s where the troubles and joy can happen… when we find ways to see the other’s perspective, assure them they feel heard, and stick in the conversation to find the way forward.

By: Kare Anderson

Kare Anderson — Wed, 19 May 2010 16:13:40 +0000

Steve – Perhaps you mean compliment?
Collaboration can be more difficult AND more valuable when partnering with people with complementary talents.
With different talents we are more likely to feel friction because the other person is not acting right – like us :’)

Yet recognizing that likelihood, when difference pop up and may turn to disagreement, one can look to the increased value in partnering with that person and find a way to reach deeper understanding of that person… possibly by complimenting
that person on their strength/greatest talent and expressing gratefulness that “our different talents” make it worth the effort to learn from them to accomplish something greater together than we can on our own.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:35:55 +0000

Great to read posts like this that help me focus on the positive.

There’s a complement called the implied complement that’s effective because it causes the receiver to make the connection. Here’s an example:

I love working with people who are creative, so I’m thrilled to be working with you on this project.

By: Michael Yanakiev

Michael Yanakiev — Sat, 08 May 2010 19:33:52 +0000

Kare,..I was post – reflecting on what you have been writing lately,and here came something I liked and would like to share:
Three Friends
There were three friends
Discussing life.
one said:
“Can men live together
And know nothing of it ?
Work together
And produce nothing ?
Can they fly around in space
And forget to exist
World without end ?”
The three friends looked at each other
And burst out laughing.
They had no explanation.
Thus they were better friends than before.

By: Michael Yanakiev

Michael Yanakiev — Fri, 07 May 2010 18:45:42 +0000

Kare! These models of behavior are so true. They can easily be associated with a very special person – to all of us – Kare Anderson! A great poetess is standing next to her. What can I say? Still , apart from everything aren’t
we overworking ourselves ? How can we cope with an information neurosis,that can catch up with us soon ? Aren’t things transparent and obvious to a great extend to all that are mindful ? I don’t have the answers but
am still aware , how easily one can loose the sense of measure. At least, our Western civilization.”Would you mind if I prayed while I am smoking ?”

By: Colleen Wainwright

Colleen Wainwright — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:55:00 +0000

I *love* that marble idea! What a great way to get in the habit of doing something good (and stay in it, even when things get hectic).

Thank you for pointing to Heather’s piece, and by extension, to me. It’s nice to be mentioned, but it’s really nice to be mentioned in a post by a person who so perfectly models the very behavior she’s describing. You’re the champeen, Kare!