Comments on: The Forgotten First Step for Connecting

By: Kathleen Lisson

Kathleen Lisson — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:26:46 +0000

I can see so many examples in my life that agree with the view that people are more happy and productive when in relationship with one another. I will endeavor to be more ‘present’ at meetings and other interactions, and less ‘multitasking’ by consulting my blackberry instead of listening to the conversation.

By: Michael Yanakiev

Michael Yanakiev — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 12:10:59 +0000

A very though provoking post – right into the target! One can’t but agree with the author’s findings on focus and self discovery. Yet apart from the given evidence a human being is also existential. Which means that it is
difficult for him to stay focused permanently since he strives to to make the quantum leap into the unknown reality,never to be satisfied with the status -go . So it is interesting to see how one is going to handle situations like these that may end up in being self destructive. I doubt if happiness, a very fuzzy concept of its own can be
achieved by just staying attentive and focused. I don’t agree that American’s are that independent-minded as
they label themselves just citing a few selected quotes. I can rather reason the opposite-they tend to be the most manipulative society, taking the mass case in mind.”Cow eats grass” are funny examples ,from which to reach such radical observations..Americans can’t even comprehend the mentality of “The Go Game” in order to apply it into all spheres of life! Thanks.

By: Adrienne Bennett

Adrienne Bennett — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 01:27:34 +0000

Great post, you hit the target completely on the question of focus and self discovery. The puzzle is half complete the journey does not stop just because we have found out what makes us truly happy but in fact just began. Now we must take that happiness and find creative ways for others to do the same. I too love the quote “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~ Robert Frost

Through my experience I found what made me happy revealed itself from my frustrations, it was the thing that drove me to become a change agent. I knew from a young age the helping other to connect to their expression of greatness then share that expression with others was the only way to live my life. So sometimes the discovery of passion comes out of frustration but paying attention to path and knowing the real destination allows you to share your passion and build connects much easier.

look forward to future post

By: kare anderson

kare anderson — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:27:16 +0000

Unfortunately, few behavioral or brain studies have been done between cultures or generations – “just” observations by cultural anthropologists. In the studies cited in the book Rapt, we know that infants are primed quite early as to, not only what they focus on but when and how long.

And the multi-tasking tendency that makes us less smart in our thinking, seems to be happening among all ages through the boomer generation and appears to be something that those raised with screens in their lives, the so-called Digital Natives, are more likely to multi-task more.

They do not have life experience when people did that less. Yes the generational difference has huge implications for work – and social and personal life. And, since many in Japan and elsewhere, started using mobile phones in larger percentages than in the U.S. (many less “developed” countries have people who only know cells as their personal and work communication tool) the role that phones play in how we focus attention and get things done and form relationships is much different across cultures – just from that phenom.

By: Julia Nufer

Julia Nufer — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:16:25 +0000

Thought-provoking post, Kare . It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the nature of attention, a topic I think you’ve talked about before. It sounds obvious, but how do I know you are paying attention to me? What signals tell me that? I think you wrote about Japanese cues being different from American cues (comments about phone messages). And if different cultures have different cues, then maybe different generations have different cues. Knowing more about that would enable Millenials and Boomers to communicate more effectively in work and outside of work. Fascinating!

By: Kare Anderson

Kare Anderson — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:02:24 +0000

Well I will do my part Elizabeth to stay in touch as I enjoy your company and always learn from you. Thanks for your candor.
And Ben, as a fan of your Collaborative Journey I am honored that you stopped by

By: Elizabeth Pearce

Elizabeth Pearce — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:58:28 +0000

remain focused on what I really want in life.

By: Elizabeth Pearce

Elizabeth Pearce — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:57:02 +0000

I really enjoyed this article –

It reminded me that the book “Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life” was still sitting unread.

But what we focus on and attend to in our lives is what we get more of. Most of us let the time consuming and unimportant stuff keep us from focusing on “the big things” like how we connect with others. The urgent and unimportant quadrant is full. The important and nonurgent items, usually fewer in number, are prone to be ignored without concious effort.

In my experience, that’s how I lose friends – I just get so distracted or overwhelmed by the noise of life, that I forget to stay in touch.

Thanks for the reminder to step back and

By: Ben Ziegler

Ben Ziegler — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:35:39 +0000

Wonderful post. Attention is so hard to give, it takes the whole body/mind. Maybe that’s why things like mediation & yoga hold so much potential/value.

And on connecting with people extremely unlike you, another reason I like to do that is I’d like to be able to make friends with anyone – not just someone with a similar background / set of values – and giving attention, learning the other’s story, is the path to making that connection.